We've made some huge decisions as a family recently and people have asked why. I'm going to start the story almost two years ago.
January 2013, just after Georgiana's first birthday. I had suffered what is still to date the worst cold/flu I've ever had. A few days later my vision in my left eye started to blur and then fade. Everything was sort of whitewashed. I was scared. In fact, I was more than scared. It was an emotion that there are no words to describe. After many trips to ophthalmology at the local hospital, I ended up with an MRI scan and a referral to neurology. That led on to a diagnosis of MS (Multiple Sclerosis)
Wow, it hit me like a train. On the one had I was devastated, on the other relieved that it wasn't more serious. I read and read and read some more. I read amazing stories of hope and defiance and stories of increasing disability and loss of life. In May I had a second relapse. That time I went numb down my right side. I could feel touch as light as a feather but if I pinched myself I couldn't feel it. It was odd and unsettling and confirmed the diagnosis.
It also made me realise that I can still achieve so much. I also made me determined to live life and every dream to the fullest. My new mantra quickly became "if I can I will"
We then made the decision to start a business. There were some incredible high points and dreams came true, however sadly, it didn't go the way we planned and we decided to close up. It was an amazing experience but closing was difficult and painful, especially for DadaSmu who was the owner and manager of the whole business. I'm very glad we did it, even though it didn't quite go according to plan.
So, here we are. Almost two years on from when the story began, we're in a period of healing. We're living by the sea finally. A dream we've had for a while. The sea in incredibly cleansing. I've always felt as though you can pour your troubles into the sea and they will go out with the tide. I love the power that the sea has. I'm fascinated by it and now I can see it from my bed, from my kitchen and my living room. It changes whilst I walk from room to room and it's always beautiful.
Having a new baby has also been incredibly healing. He's brought a light to our family that broke through all the darkness of the previous years. He's happy beyond belief and he loves me unconditionally. I appreciate every moment I spend with him, even the odd long night.
On the day we moved in I got a letter from my neurologist with the results from my most recent MRI scan. It showed that I have had no disease progression in the last 18 months and the lesion I had on my brain has healed. Right back at the start, I had no idea where MS would take me. I still have no idea but I now have hope, determination and faith that regardless of where it takes me, I will be able to live my dreams, complete my mission here on earth and most importantly be happy.
I love my life. I don't know where I'm going to be or how well I'll be in a few years but right now, today, IF I CAN, I WILL!
No comments:
Post a Comment