Why do we home educate?

This is a question that I am asked almost daily. I'm asked it by friends and family, by people in shops and most often by other home educators. I ask them as well of course, the story of how we come to home educate is almost as compelling as a good old birthing story. It's one which, as we tell it, helps to cleanse and focus our minds on the true wonder of what we have achieved.

Unlike a birthing story, which stays the same each time we tell it, the reasons for home educating change with the seasons, and sometimes just with the passing of hours.

In order to fully answer this question, I need to go back to the beginning of my home ed journey. Right back almost 4 years to when George 1 was preparing to start reception class. I had heard of home ed then, I had friends who do it, but we had found a good school and I felt at the time that that's what was 'supposed' to happen. My little 4 years and 2 week old baby was going to school, because that's what you do. He very much enjoyed reception. He had lovely teachers who nurtured and played and taught. It was a relaxed atmosphere and yet somehow I lost my baby. He disappeared and became someone else's child. I didn't know what he was doing. The 10ft high green metal fencing created a physical, emotional and spiritual barrier between us. For 3 years, i listened to those gates shutting behind me, locking him in and me out. Each afternoon I picked up an ever increasingly grumpy and distant stranger. Occasionally I'd get a little insight into his day. A little snippet of information.

Then mid-way through year 2 the unhappiness in him began to show. He also felt alienated from our family. Separated off from the achievements at home. He felt stifled by school. A lot of the things that were being taught didn't make sense to him and he struggled with simple tasks. He's not stupid, in fact quite the opposite, but he doesn't learn well in formal teaching environments. He's not particularly speedy. He's a great thinker and philosopher and so recalling facts quickly was difficult for him. Its expected a lot in school.

Then came the refusal, hiding under the table in the mornings and crying. Being so stressed and exhausted in the evenings that he couldn't even eat. He looked terrible. Huge black circles under his eyes on top of extremely pale skin.

So it led me to thinking about alternatives. During the summer holiday last year, we brought it up with him. The change in him was instant. A little light shone in his tired eyes. The realisation that there was an option other than school. The life started to return. His last day at school was probably the greatest of his life so far. I've never seen such an excited and happy child. A thousand horses couldn't have held him back from running out of the gates that day.

That's what led me to home ed in the first place. Many say I'm over protective, that children should face unhappiness to become stronger. Some say that bullying even is a necessary part of character building. I want to pt it on record now that I DO NOT AGREE! Just as a child doesn't need to smoke in order to know it's not good, a child doesn't need to be faced with bad language, bullies, sexual images and behaviour or negative adult attitudes, to know that they're wrong. I'm not saying that my children came across these things early on in school, but they will eventually, and yes, I do want to protect them from it as long as I can.

Another of my reasons to continue with home ed now we've started is simply to do with EDUCATION.

I have learned more about what education is and what it entails in the past 6 months that I have in the previous 30 years of my own formal educational life. Ive said it before and I'll say it again, I ADMIRE TEACHERS (mostly). They work hard and do an amazing job. They show genuine concern for children's well being, although they are so busy that mostly, its only serious problems that can be dealt with. They teach with skill and patience and dedication. They have to be dedicated to get the job done.

That leads into my final reason for today. The privilege of being able to witness my children learning and knowing exactly what they're learning. To witness a child learn to read, grasp a maths equation that has previously been a mystery, ASK to look at a specific period in history having done anything before to avoid the word history, actually enjoy reading poetry and not be able to pt a book down because there's no time restraint, play so freely because that's what they are - free - is the greatest privilege I could ever ask of as a mother. I am possibly the luckiest mummy in the world!

I'll say this again too, home ed is not the perfect solution. Not always. For most people, school is a good and valid option for their children. For me and my family, right now, school is not where we are supposed to be.